Listen to your body

We live in such a weird historical moment in terms of health and well being. There are standards, set in stone or so they lead us to believe, that indicate what is healthy and what isn't. We are supposed to eat certain foods, drink a certain amount of water, avoid eating and drinking various things that are allegedly not good for us. Some doctors will insist we follow the protocol, even if drinking that much water sends us to the bathroom every ten minutes. What is up with that? What are these doctors thinking?

According to the numbers on reports based on blood tests and such, we are healthy or not healthy, no matter how we actually feel. You know when you have a physical, after which the doctor says your enzymes or blood gasses or whatever are fine (or not), that diagnosis is based on a number which corresponds to a statistic that someone else decided was good or not so good. What does that have to do with you, except in the most general sense?

Having standards isn't the worst idea, but I wish these benchmarks were looked at as general guidelines rather than hard and fast facts. Because we are such unique creatures, there is no standard that applies to all, not that I see anyway.

There's also the truth that there are trends in standards. What is deemed "unhealthy" today could suddenly become "healthy" next year, or vice versa. Cholesterol used to be bad. Then there was good cholesterol and bad cholesterol. Recent studies have linked drastically stripped down cholesterol (from prescription drugs) to strokes and other rather major problems. Cutting edge research indicates it's inflammation of the blood vessels that makes cholesterol stick and block the flow. Maybe cholesterol itself isn't bad at all. Rather, it's the inflammation that's bad. These designations are based on studies but those studies, when repeated, often yield different results.

Besides the scientific standard, cultural perspectives play a large role in determining what's healthy and what isn't. In Germany, doctors tend to diagnose problems with digestion more often than anything else while in the U.S. we think in terms of infection and antibiotics. Does that mean that Germans suffer less often from infections than Americans, or that German doctors diagnose differently? Dr. Jerome Groupman's book, "How Doctors Think" speaks to the way in which these standards exist outside of actual experience, outside the context of individual situations.

We have learned not to pay attention to the obvious, for instance, a study was conducted to prove that children who do not eat breakfast have a harder time concentrating in school. They had to do a study to prove this? Wow.

Here's my common sense advice: know your limits. When you're tired, rest or sleep, when you're hungry, eat. If you have to go to the bathroom, don't hold it! Go. If you notice that your knee is swollen, skip the tennis game today. If there's a food that's supposed to be good for you, but you don't like it, don't eat it! Those new fancy sneakers? If they hurt your feet, don't wear them.

If you aren't feeling well, even if your numbers are perfect, pay attention. Your situation is far more indicative of what's going on than the number on a computer screen, derived from a test and according to a standard set by someone you will never meet.

OK? I say yes. These standards come and go, but if you tune in to your own body, you'll soon figure out what does and does not work. We are complicated beings.

Be well. Shalom.

Feel the love

There are people who are very suspicious of therapeutic massage. How can it be therapeutic when it doesn't hurt? Of course there are massage therapists who will hurt you, if that's what you need in order to feel you are benefitting from a session. I am not of that school of thought.

When I receive massage, the last thing I want to experience is discomfort of any kind. I don't want to be sore afterwards, or bruised. I want my therapist to warm my muscle attachments, push my blood and lymph through my tissues, smooth and knead my muscles in a way that creates a lot of sensation and the possibility of release. A top-notch massage helps me breathe more deeply, let go of excess tension, extraneous thoughts and cares. I look for an hour of peace on the table. If it hurts, that takes me out of the precious experience of true relaxation, which is the only condition in which deep healing can occur.

Should say, neither am I a fan of very light Swedish massage which feels to me as if the therapist is applying lotion or sunscreen to the very most superficial layer of skin. I can do that myself.

One reason massage is relaxing is because it creates so much sensation that the brain is flooded with information. At some point, there is too much information to process, after which the brain gives up. Ahhh, what a relief!

Beware of a therapist who asks if you like light, medium, or deep pressure. That conveys to me that the therapist is not going to be tuned in to my body. What I always say when asked that question is that I like light pressure in some areas, medium pressure in other areas and deep pressure in yet other areas. If I'm feeling feisty I will then say, "Please pay attention to what's going on in my tissues, thanks."

In order to truly let go of the sturm und drang of it all, you have to be fully relaxed. If you're on the table, thinking Ouch! Is she going to do that same thing to my other arm? you will be missing out on one of the greatest benefits of massage: bliss.

Pleasure, bliss, relaxation, or a shift in the nervous system from sympathetic to para-sympathetic - however you wish to think about it - is a state in which the brain integrates and recalibrates the neural network. If you experience the bliss of relaxation during a massage, your brain and body are more likely to think of relaxation as a good thing. Considering the crazy lives we live, it behooves all of us to think perhaps less fondly of the adrenalin rush that accompanies stress, more fondly of the benefits of letting go.

Feel the love on the massage table, take deep breaths, let go. You will not regret it! Shalom.

Dress for the weather

It seems pretty straightforward - when summer finally ends, it's time to put away the flip flops and shorts, start wearing warmer clothes. In mid-August, when it's boiling hot here in the swamp, I see people wearing suits with their ties snug around their necks, jackets buttoned up. When it's freezing cold I see women walking around without hats, their hair still wet from the shower.

Imagine my eyebrows knitted, my head slowly shaking back and forth. Seriously I don't understand it. There are good looking fashions for every season, so it isn't a matter of wanting to be stylish. There are great looking hats that can be worn over wet hair. There are also hair dryers, right?

Especially when the seasons change, the body must redouble its efforts to maintain homeostasis. All summer the skin opens, and sweats, so we don't get too hot. In winter, goosebumps are the skin's way of explaining that it's damn cold out there.

It strikes me as respectful to honor the valiant efforts of the human body by putting on a sweater or loosening a tie or engaging in any number of reasonable acts to assist and support the work of our bodies. Yes?

Maybe those who love summer feel that continuing to wear tank tops without a jacket, until Christmas, is an appropriate way to rebel against the reality of the changing seasons. Maybe.

What I know for sure is that when the seasons shift, a lot more people catch colds than at other times of the year. The body is rendered more vulnerable when it has to adapt to different external conditions. Why aren't people more considerate?

Today, please, dress for the weather, ok? Tomorrow, too. And so on. I thank you and your body thanks you. Shalom.

Brother Wind

Wind plays a large role in Chinese medicine. I don't know much about it; but I know that some kinds of wind are thought to be pernicious. (What a great word.) The acupuncturist I see is rather intense when it comes to the idea of wind. I take a tincture to make sure the wind stays without, as it should. I love the name of the tincture, Jade Wind Screen. Nice name.

Shaking and uncontrollable shivering, symptoms we might think of as neurological disorders, are, in Chinese medicine, what happens when the pernicious external winds are allowed to enter the body. Everything about Chinese medicine fascinates me, including this approach to tremors of all kinds. Wow.

During a particularly cold, windy winter I explained to the acupuncturist that when the wind blew hard, I felt compelled to curse. I joked about wind-inspired Turrets Syndrome. He didn't laugh though. He gave me the penetrating gaze I've become used to, then said the cursing was my body's way of trying to match the intense pressure that wind creates externally. He put some needles in me, gave me the Jade Wind Screen. Now when the wind blows hard, I don't curse, I just think, "Oh. It's windy." Power of suggestion? Who knows.

What I do know is that windy days are exhiliarating sometimes, but exhausting always. As a shaman I cultivate my relationship with the wind, who I think of as a brother, one of those overamped, high energy brothers, you know what I mean? Meteorologists would say that wind is what happens when atmospheric pressure is not in balance. OK. To me, the wind has a presence, a personality. I can't engage with atmospheric pressure, but I can - and do - engage with Brother Wind. Life is much more interesting that way.

Today is a windy day in Washington DC. I'll take the Jade Wind Screen when I go out in a little while. I will wear my hat and, this afternoon when the wind is supposed to get really gusty, I'll make sure I'm inside somewhere. Safety first!

Chinese medicine is incomprehensible to me, but even so, it works! Hence - back off, Brother Wind, yes? I say yes.

The Nose Knows

Most people rely on vision as the go-to sense for understanding what's going on outside the body, of course, since eyes are actually part of the brain. They sit at the base of the two frontal lobes; the optic nerve goes straight to the center of the brain. Windows of soul, maybe. Eyes are windows into the brain, definitely!

What about your sense of smell? Do you rely on it? Have you ever thought about it? Close your eyes right now and breathe in through your nose. What do you smell? I smell the coffee I brewed this morning as well as traces of panang curry (last night's dinner), a whiff of lavender oil (I always sprinkle a few drops on the treatment table when I'm working). I can also smell the skanky air of the swamp in which I live, because the window is open. What do you smell? If you're not in the habit of consciously smelling (what a funny phrase), it could take some practice to get in touch with this primal sense. It's well worth it because, whether or not you're conscious of it, what you smell has a huge impact on your emotional and mental state.

What does I smell a rat mean? Or Something is rotten in Denmark. Both phrases convey the manner in which the sense of smell can expand understanding and awareness of things not visible or audible, but well worth noting.

Even if the date on the package of chicken says it should still be good, even if it looks fine, it's well worth giving it a sniff before placing it in the frying pan. Only your nose can tell you if that chicken is still edible. Same goes for other foods, of course.

The sense of smell can help you understand what your body wants at any particular moment. Before I decide if I want coffee or tea in the morning, I smell both. Sometimes one or the other smells delicious, sometimes one or the other doesn't smell right. It's not the coffee beans or teabags in that case, it's my body showing me clearly which way to go. Taste is smell plus texture and temperature. That's why officianados always sniff the wine before tasting, it's why chefs smell the soup before serving. Or at least they should.

Smell is a great diagnostic tool. People with untreated diabetes smell sweet. When people are even slightly dehydrated, they smell like burned paper, at least to me. Unless you never brush your teeth, bad breath is almost always an indication of something amiss in the digestive system.

How about pheromones? You can smell them whether or not you register that fact. Does your date smell good? If not, no matter how good they seem on paper, politely extricate yourself from the situation. If they smell funny, it's not going to work. Believe me!

Scents, aromas, even stinky stuff, can bring memories up into consciousness in the most visceral way. Smell is powerful.

If you have chronically blocked sinuses, you don't have access to a very important way of understanding the world. Try humming, go see the acupuncturist, use a Neti pot (but not too often because sometimes that practice pushes congestion deeper into your head). Unblock those sinuses, please! Life, including a well developed sense of smell, is a marvelous, many layered, complex experience. Without smell, all experience is flattened.

Close your eyes and open the nose, because the nose knows. Shalom!

Boundaries.

When one tugs at a single thing in nature he finds it attached to the rest of the world. ~John Muir (Thanks, Val Baker, for this beautiful quote!)

I've been trying, for days, to write a post about healthy boundaries. I thought I didn't have it in me to do so, most likely because my own boundaries are weak at best, even though I have worked diligently for years to cease and desist being codependent. It's a work in progress.

I'm not the only one with uneven boundaries, of course. It's a challenge in this society in which we are allegedly independent, separate individuals. Of course we aren't! We are empathic by nature, hence we tend to merge, emotionally and psychically, with those closest to us. But because we believe we aren't merged, it's easy to confuse what someone else is feeling with our own emotions. This is not healthy.

Even the use of the royal "we" is an aspect of merging, hey?

In massage school, there was little preparation for the merging that can happen during a session. My teachers talked about it a little bit, mostly telling us to stay centered and grounded in order to keep from taking on the energy of whomever was on the table. But no one taught us HOW to center and ground. Pretty words that didn't really help.

A couple of my teachers resorted to truly draconian techniques. One said that when working on someone in emotional distress, to imagine them inside a hermetically sealed cube, our hands inside gloves, simlar to the way techs work with radioactive materials. Whoa. Kind of extreme, hey?

I'm lucky to have trained extensively in sensate intuition with the luminous Cybele in San Francisco, also with Wendy Palmer, a great teacher as well. We practiced staying centered over and over again, first on our own, then in various situations of engagement, both emotional and physical. I always use those techniques during sessions - they work very well. I do NOT take on the trials and tribulations of my clients!

One of the simplest techniques for staying centered is to imagine yourself standing in the center of a column of light at least three feet in diameter. Begin to take some nice clean breaths. Imagine that by breathing in this way, you can expand your life force to fill the column. Make sure you have just as much life force behind you as in front, on the left and the right, above and below. Imagine the column has very clear edges, like a spotlight would create, for instance. This exercise is simple, but powerful.

In personal relationships, perhaps needless to say, it's much more complicated. If I try too hard not to fall into the center of someone else's gravity, I become distant and rather cold. When I plummet into another's center of gravity, I lose all sense of myself; I become a satellite orbiting the other person. That's never pretty! I'm a lot better at it than I used to be, but it's not easy with those I love dearly.

The Buddhists know we are all interconnected. Their practices of non-attachment create something rather different than what we non-Buddhists would call healthy boundaries. Buddhists are OK with being merged, as long as they can keep from grasping. Damn those Buddhists are so smart!

May you rest comfortably at the center of your own beautiful self! May it be so. Shalom.

Moods

Every bad mood has a physical component. Have you ever thought about it?

Those who insist on compartmentalizing emotion, as if it were separate in some way from body and mind, will focus (when in a bad mood) on the cause of the crankiness, for instance a big fight with a partner or someone at work, traffic jam, gloomy weather, bad news of every kind, etc.

But in truth, the bad mood was already firmly in place before the arguments or traffic. Life's circumstances act as fuel for the ill humor, but it was already there, waiting. If you're in a good mood, you'll simply crank up the stereo when the traffic jams occur, car dance until you get moving again. At work or with your partner, if you're feeling chipper (love that expression) you are more likely to be compassionate, to listen, and thereby avoid blaming and/or bumping heads.

When you get angry, it's not because of external circumstance. You were already angry. You know that expression, "Woke up on the wrong side of the bed," ? Yeah. It was there, waiting for a trigger. Some days it's only matter of another person looking at you funny; suddenly you're furious, judgmental. The temptation to blame the other is very compelling, but it never actually helps the mood. In fact, blaming external circumstance tends to make the mood even worse.

Bad moods (like every kind of mood) are complicated combinations of physiological, psychological and experiential circumstances. The psychological and experiential aspects of a foul mood are difficult to change. A traffic jam is a traffic jam, yes? But you can pay attention to the physical symptoms and circumstances. Sometimes simply by attending to the physical components of the mood, it's possible to turn things around.

Waking up on the wrong side of the bed often occurs after a bad night of sleep. Sleep is so important! Sometimes it's possible to trace a bad mood to a head or stomach ache. Sometimes those symptoms are very low level, hard to track. A hint of queasiness, constipation, heartburn, conditions you're likely not to notice, can be the foundation of terrible moods. In the aftermath of eating too much of anything, but especially sugar, bad moods are common. Too much caffeine is initially exiliarating, but a couple of hours later? When blood sugar crashes, so will your mood. Oh yeah. Need I even mention the impact of hangovers? Remorse, at the very least, is always part of a hangover. Hunger, too, contributes to bad moods. Are you on some kind of crazy diet? No wonder you're cranky!

Just as culpable are the symptoms that follow an injury. You stubbed your toe and now it aches, so it's harder to walk, or, for that matter, do anything. That nagging pain could put Mother Teresa in a bad mood, hey? A stiff neck, back-ache and other muscular or skeletal pain, acts as a trigger for all kinds of bad moods. Think of phrases like, pain in the neck. Try to remember it's YOUR neck that hurts, it isn't the boss, partner, dog or situation at hand. Same goes for pain in the ass. That's YOUR ass that's hurting. Yeah.

Lethargy and depression are, if you ask me, the same condition. When I'm in a mood, if I can remember to get up, go outside and walk around briskly for awhile, or take a big bike ride, I will inevitably become more cheerful. People who exercise regularly are happier than those who don't. When those people can't exercise for one reason or another, stay away from them because lord, they get so irritable! Yikes.

There's no way to avoid bad moods altogether; it's part of our heritage as human beings. I always smile when I hear people say, There's no point in getting worked up about this, or some similar phrase. Moods are not rational, and will not disappear through the great, tyrannical powers of logic, no matter how much you might wish it. This approach is denial, pure and simple. Try as hard as you can, you can not think your way through a mood.

But you can attend to the physical aspects, if you pay attention. Instead of pointing your finger at another person or a situation over which you have no control, sit instead with your sensations for awhile. Does your stomach hurt? When was the last time you got out for a nice walk? How did you sleep last night? These are things you can attend to, if not control.

See, there are so many reasons to eat well, get enough sleep and exercise. It isn't just about physical health, nope. Living well will make you a happier person, I guarantee it.

Be well today. Life is good. Shalom.