Thursday, August 29, 2013
The Sweet Spot
We are cyclical beings, living in a cyclical universe. Just like the moon and the seasons, we wax and wane. Just like the stars rise and fall and spiral around in the night sky, so do we. We are not separate from the physics of the solar system. We are part of it. We surely are!
All is change. Why is change so hard for some of us? Why are there individuals who dig in their heels, who try hard to hang on to what was?
I have several theories about this of course. One among them is that we just want to be comfortable. It's an offshoot of the survival instinct. We seek pleasure and comfort because that makes us feel safe. When we find a way to feel comfortable, whether it's physical, emotional or spiritual, we want to stop the cycle. We begin to believe it's possible to stay comfortable - maybe forever - even though no one has ever accomplished this, not ever. Never. Life is dynamic and cyclical. The longer we hold on, the less comfortable we become. We harden against change, hang on tighter and tighter, long after the time when there was comfort and pleasure in whatever we cling to. Becoming stuck, blocked, and/or stagnant is not good for body, mind or spirit. It's not natural. And yet we try.
I'm talking about some of us, not everyone, of course. Those who try desperately to hang on or stay put are called stubborn, stuck, blocked, or they're pathologized, labeled as regressed, phobic, lazy. The desire to feel safe, to be comfortable, is understandable. I can't blame anyone for that even though it doesn't serve any good purpose.
This is on my mind after watching The Wonders of the Solar System, narrated by the cheerful Brian Cox, also in light of the fact that several of my clients are now going through huge life changes that they were unprepared to meet, even though some among them consciously chose to make the changes. Somehow it didn't sink in that their lives as they knew them are now over and done with. The wheel has turned. Onwards and upwards.
There's no way to stay the same. Every sweet spot passes. Let it pass. Let go. Go with the flow. Shalom.