What matters?

What would I do without my friends?

When a new year rolls around, many people get contemplative, reflect on the year just ending and begin to conjure what they would like to manifest in the year ahead. It's a damn shame this practice turns punitive so often, as if people feel a need to scold and punish themselves. Of course a part of that approach has to do with the massive de-tox that's inevitable after the end of the feast season. Another aspect of self-blaming behavior can be the result of cultural and/or religious values that teach the benefits of being humble. Humility is a wonderful thing that, when taken too far, lowers self-esteem. That never helps anything if you ask me. Also we're an ambitious, hard-working species, similar to ants or bees. When January 1 rolls around, we're hell-bent for leather to achieve, to fix old mistakes and such.

Rather than think of terms of what went wrong, what was derailed, how did I screw up, I prefer to ask myself what mattered in the year just past. What enhanced my existence, what felt "right"? My work felt right, and the decisions I made around a change in my work environment were spot on. All the things I do to enhance my good health mattered.

Reflecting on 2011, it occurs to me that more than anything, friends, neighbors, clients and family mattered. Cultivating relationships, making sure the people I care about know how much I cherish those connections, mattered. Feeling and expressing love is healthy, humane and an essential part of who we are as a species. One of my resolutions for 2012 revolves around remembering to appreciate how healing love is. When love moves through my heart, I feel plumped up with life force.

Will you spend time with someone you love today? Hope so. Hope you'll remember to tell them, too. Yes? I say yes.

Happy new year and Shalom!