Sunday, December 4, 2011

The Healing Moment

I've written many times, on my other blog, about the mystery of what I call the healing moment. I even published an article in the local newspaper a few years ago on the subject.

I could go on and on about it, but briefly: what I'm talking about is the day, the minute, the second, when a suffering person decides, on every level, he or she has had enough. The healing moment is the day you give notice at a job that's toxic, make the decision to leave an unhealthy relationship, or - the other way around - the healing moment is the day you propose marriage to the person you love, it's the moment when you are finally strong and clear enough to make the commitment. When the healing moment arrives, you realize no one can "save" you except yourself. It's the day you make that phone call you've been thinking about forever, to a therapist or healer. Your hand picks up the phone, and dials. You make the appointment. This is the healing moment.

Physically it looks like a high fever breaking, waking up after being unconscious due to an injury or illness, that sort of thing. In AA culture, they call it "bottoming out."

People spend years suffering, in chronic physical, emotional, spiritual pain. During the time of suffering, making a change in order to resolve the problem, alleviate the pain, seems impossible. In the thick of it, those suffering believe themselves to be too weak, powerless, or hopeless to change their situations. But when the healing moment arrives, suddenly these same people kick it into gear. They seek the help they need to heal, just like that. Snap! Once the healing moment has arrived, nothing - not anything - can stop them from rising up out of the swampy problems they've been immersed in.

I'm not saying that whatever the problem was can be solved in one day, or one moment. Once the healing moment has passed, the work begins. The healing moment unhinges much of the old pattern of suffering, which leads inevitably to a degree of chaos. Healing is a very dynamic process - it ain't for sissies! However in spite of the rigors of healing, it's miraculous to witness as well as experience. The healing moment means taking the reins, the steering wheel, taking charge, assuming responsibility. It brings courage and determination to the person who has experienced it. During the process of healing, people continue to suffer, at least for awhile, sometimes for a long while, but they are addressing the situation rather than being continually sucked into the vortex of the problem.

I've said enough today. I'll write tomorrow about invoking the healing moment. I've thought about it a lot.

Today may you turn a corner, may you align yourself with health and well being, may you take on all your beautiful human power. So may it be. Shalom.


ellen abbott said...

Some of it also is refusing to be a victim. I was in a women's group for awhile years back and several of the women were just swirling in negativity. I would tell them to stop allowing that in, to stop those thoughts, that when those things in their heads started to consciously refuse them and replace them with happy or positive thoughts such as 'I am a good person', repeating it like a mantra and in that way they could take control and make changes. Their responses were always that they couldn't do that, that I just didn't understand. But the thing was, they had taken the role of victim and didn't want to give it up because as a victim they could blame others for their misery. Later after the group broke up I ran into one of the women who had finally had that 'healing moment' and she told me that she finally understood what I had been saying.

Reya Mellicker said...

Oh yeah. You would not believe how many times I've tried to explain this to people. I'm going to write more about it tomorrow, how I might as well be talking to the moon, until the moment. When the healing moment occurs, suddenly they can "hear." I, too, have been deaf and blind to solutions until some mysterious time when I want to hear, want to see.

I resist the term "survivor," because it identifies the person with the period of suffering rather than the recovery.